“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
Hardly any English language student would have never heard of this famous proverb which in just a few words has beautifully captivated the essence of a true friendship.
Having friends or being a friend is one of the most beautiful feelings that any person could ever imagine.
In fact, it is a blessing in many ways. And to prove this, consider the following case –
While you have been lucky to have parents, siblings and other blood relatives in your life, you still do not share everything with them.
Not until they also become your friends.
Perhaps this is the reason why many people while describing the bond that they have with a blood relative, particularly emphasize by saying that ‘they are also my best friends’.
So it seems that no matter how many other forms of relationships you have, the term friendship rests on top of everything else and could even make an existing relationship more special and hold significant value for you.
There is a famous tale of a wise father advising his son on the fact that having a thousand friends is not even enough, while having one single enemy, is more than enough.
But there is a famous Urdu language proverb that says that where there are roses, there are bound to be thorns as well.
Likewise, while you may have many friends because of having a friendly nature and welcoming attitude towards letting people enter your friends circle, certainly not all of them will feel the same for you.
Some will be like roses that give you a pleasant feeling while others will possess qualities of a thorn that will make you fend off every time you are in their company.
So how do you know who really is your friend and who is just a fake and will remain with you as long as you serve their purpose which means you will be discarded once no more benefits can be derived out of this so-called friendship.
13 Differences to watch out for between a real friend and a fake friend
To clearly figure out and distinguish before it is too late to understand who among your friends is a real friend and who is a fake friend, we have compiled a list of differences.
While the following points will help you sort out between your friends, chances are that these 13 differences between a real friend and a fake friend might also work as an eye opener for you to judge the way you yourself treat your friends.
This is because while you and almost every person claims to be a real friend, very few are able to fulfill the criteria and keep up with the high standards of a true friendship.
So let’s check these out and see the real side.
1. There is always a repellent vibe
No matter what the moment be or how much you share a common goal or purpose, there will always be a kind of repellent vibe between you and a fake friend.
In other words, despite your repeated attempts on trying to closely knit your relationship, it will always feel loose and lousy.
2. There will always remain doubts in your mind
Again irrespective of the size of any responsibility you give them and the probability of anything going wrong, you will always have trust issues.
You will have doubts and worries in your mind on whether they can be fully and blindly trusted with any responsibility or not.
3. There treatment towards you might be different in different settings
The way a fake friend treats you might be different in different settings.
For example, they might treat you differently when they are with you alone but in front of other people, they may ignore you or leave you and seek other people’s company.
Another thing to notice is that they might feel uncomfortable or insecure in introducing you to their friends and other people they are with at any event or place.
There is also a possibility that they might explicitly ask you not to join them while they are with some other people for example by saying that they are having a private discussion, etc.
A good thing to do in such a situation is to look for indications that suggest their treatment towards you to be different or of lesser importance than the people they are with.
For example, they might remark others as being more close or old friends and having more things in common than they have with you.
4. Fake friends will always have an excuse to give unless there is some personal benefit involved
Whenever you need help or ask them to accompany you while going somewhere or even when you just need to talk or share news about something over a phone call, they will always have an excuse.
They will always put their own duties and tasks above yours. They will find excuses much beyond you can even imagine.
But all of this will be the case unless they are getting some direct benefit or reward for helping or listening you out.
Contrary to this behavior, a true and a real friend will always have buffer time reserved for you so that no matter what you want or what time it is, they will always put your needs first and ahead of their own.
5. A fake friends attitude won’t remain consistent
Another good thing to observe to recognize a fake friend is that their attitude towards you won’t remain the same always.
When they are in need, they will treat you as a king or a queen. They will be willing to help you in small chores in order to derive a much bigger advantage from you.
On the other hand, when you ask them for help, there will be a complete 360 degree shift in their attitude.
They might respond in a rude, completely unexpected manner and will have countless excuses to prove their stance of why they didn’t or couldn’t help you out.
For example, they might not respond to your messages or call you back saying that they weren’t aware of it, or because they weren’t carrying their smartphone with them as it was charging or they usually keep their smartphone in silent mode, etc.
6. They will constantly remind you of the times when they favored you
Even though it would be a rare sight to see a fake friend offer you a favor, if once they do you will regret having accepted it in the first place.
This is because they will constantly remind you of that single time when they favored and put you first and will tell you that you owe them big for that one time.
Often times it will make you feel humiliated and you might wonder of the numerous times that you favored them but have never asked for a favor in return.
And all this they will do to get another favor from you.
As against this behavior of a fake friend, a real friend will be more than willing to help you out and will never remind you about the favors they have granted you.
Rather than doing this, they will show gratitude and remain thankful to you for the times that you have helped them.
7. They will insist for your help even when it might cost you
For example, you might have other commitments such as preparing for your academic tests and exams and in which a slightly bad performance can affect your overall grades.
But even when they know about it and they need you for something, they will insist that you help them out irrespective of the fact that you might suffer a huge loss in doing such an act.
Contrary to this, a real friend will never ask you to help them in times when you yourself are under any kind of stress.
Instead, they might offer you help such as combine study sessions or refer you to their elder brother or sister to help you with your studies and solve problems on any specific subjects.
8. Fake friends are hypocrites
Some of your fake friends may also have the attributes that are commonly found in a hypocrite.
This means that they will often pretend to be someone that they actually aren’t.
They will remain faithful to you as long as they need you. Once the purpose of your friendship is accomplished, they would hardly even recognize you.
9. Real friends will always support you irrespective of the consequences
Whether you are wrong or right, real friends will support you and your stance.
If you are wrong and are likely to face any danger from making an incorrect decision, real friends will provide you with appropriate strategy and suitable suggestions.
In addition to this, they will also make sure that you pass through difficult times in a peaceful manner and will stand by you all the time until you make a safe landing.
As against this, whether you get into danger or take a wrong decision, a fake friend won’t care about you even when they understand and are fully aware of the probable consequences of your actions.
Although a fake friend might not stop you from falling prey, in worst cases an enemy in the form of a fake friend might willingly encourage you to make wrong decisions.
10. Real friends keep in touch
As life moves on and you grow, every person’s responsibilities and priorities change with time. Some stay and some leave for a better future.
But when you have real friends, they will always keep in touch with you no matter where they are and will take out time to share their life’s updates and ongoing activities.
Even when they are far away, they will call you to seek your guidance and advice and will share their pains and worries with you just to hear a few soothing words from your mouth.
Since being far means that technically you can do very little to help them in any other way, they would still want to talk to you to feel better.
11. True friends can hold your secrets for as long as you want
While it does not remain a secret once it gets out of your mouth, a real and true friend will make sure to not spill your beans further in front of anyone else.
They are fully aware of the fact that how much trust you have in them and how much important they are to you that you trusted them with sharing your life’s biggest secrets.
They will hold your secrets for as long as you want them.
12. Fake friends might exploit your weak points
Everyone has some weak points. But while your real friends will always try to cover them up for you, a fake friend will try to exploit them in the name of having fun.
Even when they know that it hurts your feelings, they will still exploit your weak spots and will take it as ordinary humor.
13. Real friends stay friends forever
The best thing about real friends is that they remain your friends irrespective of your winnings and failures.
They aren’t concerned about whether you are wealthy or poor, they just want you to remain healthy, beautiful and happy. Thus, real friends remain loyal to you always.
On the other hand, fake friends are like seasonal things. They come when you are all shining and glowing.
But once your affection starts to fade away, they will leave you and never return.
While we have mentioned some of the key points to distinguish between a real friend and a fake friend, it is always a good thing to not trust or consider every person that you meet along in your life as your friend.
Be very wise in choosing your friends because your friends and the company that you mostly gather with, says a lot about who you are as an individual person.
It defines you and your qualities and tells much about your criteria and standards in making people your friends.