If you happen to be or are thinking of getting into a long distance relationship, you might come across some unusual responses from your friends and family members.
For example, the first and the most common things you will get to hear would be negative outcomes and a blank question mark on how do you or would you survive being so far.
Well, getting involved in a long distance relationship is nothing new as well as nothing to be scared of. Even in the past or as some would say in the good old days, people used to commit into long distance relationships.
Of course, there have been many events where people with ongoing relationships have left one another to travel for work, education, wars, business and numerous other reasons.
It can be said that people who discourage long distance relationships feel unsure and insecure about having it themselves. While many of the concerns that these people show turn out to be valid, it is just about not making things too complicated by overthinking about them.
In this article, we bring you the 20 best tips and advice from experts and experience to make a long distance relationship work for you.
20 Expert tips and advices to make a long distance relationship work and thrive in your case
If you think that you will be unable to make your long distance relationship stay alive, thrive and remain strongly bonded, then do not worry anymore.
Start using our 20 best experienced tips and advice for long distance relationships to prosper mentioned below which have been gathered through expert research and opinion.
And while you are at it, do not ever ignore the opportunity of adding a little touch of your own to make your long distance relationship become even more meaningful for you and your spouse.
So let’s start.
1. Love is blind
Love is blind. We have heard it and probably we have seen it as well. And perhaps the mere existence of many long relationships is evidence that love truly is blind.
This is because when two people are truly in love, things like being living far away and not being with your spouse do not really matter.
Things like love at first sight do exist and happen and therefore you cannot control who you fall in love with. But accepting the person you love the way they are and no matter wherever they are is the essence of truly prospering long distance relationships.
2. Set out some basic parameters
Now that you have agreed to continue your relationship by being physically far, set out some basic parameters. Remember that none of you will meet the other person when they return home every day so how do you plan to overcome this gap and get used to it?
Discuss how often you should communicate and about what things mostly and which things shouldn’t be discussed at all.
Also plan about how often you should meet after how many weeks or once in a quarter or six months and who should travel to whom.
3. Take interest but do not interfere
Since the couples in long distance relationships tend to communicate occasionally, they might get super excited during the only time they get to spend on phone and video calls.
While your spouse is sharing their experiences about making new friends, workplace and the new environment, let them tell all they want to. Ask questions to the extent that you don’t seem to interfere or become suspicious of their distant and alone lives.
4. Send surprise gifts and presents
While it might not be possible to travel for every occasion like birthdays, anniversaries or other important days, you can still show your love by sending surprise gifts and presents to your spouse.
5. Keep the other updated always
Even though you may be very busy with your daily chores and get very little time to talk and chat daily, you can still keep your spouse updated through different means.
For example, you can make quick uploads of photos and put status updates for your partner to check whenever they are free. You can also tag them and write any message to express how much you miss and love them.
6. Make future plans
Any full time relationship during its long distance phase means that sooner or later both the persons in the relationship will eventually settle down together.
Remember that your relationship won’t remain long distance forever. So for the day when this long distance phase will finally get over, do have something planned.
For example, both of you are living far away because of pursuing college majors from different state universities. So what do you plan to do after 2-4 years when you will graduate?
Which one of you will move with the other person or which place would you want to move together to? Like this, set mutual goals which will bring you together in the future and then work towards them.
7. Respect each other’s privacy
Since you are not their physically to keep an eye on each other, respect each other’s privacy.
Do not ask your mutual friends or someone else living or working close by to spy and keep you informed about the other person.
If your partner or spouse does not share something that you have knowledge of, respect their decision and wait for them to open about it themselves. Do not push or hurry them in any way.
8. Make surprise and planned visits
If you haven’t been able to keep in touch for quite some time now and travelling to the other person is easy, make plans to meet on weekends or during any holidays coming up.
You can also make surprise visits to the other person.
For example, you get an opportunity to travel back for some office work or to attend some conference or meeting. So why not plan to surprise the other person and spend few hours of quality time together.
9. Indulge in common activities
There is a possibility that you and your spouse share common interests like book reading, watching seasons or movies and playing games.
While you both have different working schedules and might not get much time to even talk over the phone for long hours, a cool thing to do can be to pursue a mutually enjoyable activity.
For example set a goal to finish reading the same book within two weeks or watch a complete season or movie over the weekend.
Then when you finally get to meet or at least talk, you can share the experience with one another.
10. Communicate less
Even if both of you manage to take out regular time to talk with each other, keep this distant communication to lower levels.
Do not communicate everything and talk for long hours. Keep a few things to surprise the other person in the future.
Also talking for long hours and about everything can raise misconceptions and turn into unnecessary arguments which could have been totally avoidable.
11. Try to establish a deeper connection
While you aren’t there to engage in physical activity, learn ways to establish a deeper and inner connection with your partner that is beyond the need of any physical relationship.
12. Take pleasure in small things
And it does not always have to be some gifts, surprise visits or long calls to update each other. Keeping a long distance relationship alive can be done by taking pleasure in doing small things as well.
For example, send a text message that just says ‘good morning’, ‘good night’ or like ’leaving for lunch’, ‘have outside dinner plans today’ and ‘just reached home’.
Or you can also share a quick photo of yourself or your meal over any instant messaging app as well with a few words to recall any associated past memory.
13. Always look on the positive
While long distance relationships seem hard to maintain and mostly on the verge of collapse, see the positive that you can extract from it.
See your long distance relationship as an opportunity to learn something new and make a stronger bond with each other.
It is also a way to experience that spark of missing someone and realize the importance of living close to each other in times of happiness and sorrow.
When you compare the time to instantly share something by being together with just mere thoughts of longing to get back together, you become grateful and value relationships.
14. Avoid uncomfortable events
If you think that doing an act would make the other person in your relationship feel uncomfortable, then avoid getting involved in such situations.
For example, having sleepovers or attending late night parties.
However if you still want to attend any such things, it would be wise to inform the other person of your plans beforehand.
You can send regular updates or share some friends contact details in case you are not reachable.
15. Do not hide and be open about everything
Having trust and maintaining it is the key ingredient to make your long distance relationship flourish. So if you think that there is something that you should share with the other person, be open and speak about it.
While each person in a long distance relationship should respect each other’s privacy and the right to discuss or not about anything, it is better to communicate when you have a chance.
Especially any significant matter that you think the other person would eventually get to know through any other means, should never be ignored during a conversation.
Even if you are unsure about the other person’s reaction, share it. This is because risking in a relationship is much better than regretting.
16. Be ready for uncertainties
To remain connected with each other amid following tight working or college schedules, you might have a set number of days or time to interact with each other.
While this sounds good, be always ready for an untimely call from your spouse or partner.
Remember that the other person is also alone and there might be things which he/she might feel uncomfortable in sharing with anyone else except you.
So be ready to calm and take any emergency measures to ease the other person during any uncertain times.
17. Rely on what you are being told or know and do not expect more
If your partner isn’t feeling okay in sharing something that is bothering them and which is clearly evident from their looks or voice, still believe in what they are telling you.
If they are not asking for your support at the moment, do not press them to ask for it or do not remind them that you are there for them.
Sometimes people in long distance relationships try to fix things themselves before asking for the other person’s help.
18. Motivate each other
There might be times when you or the other person would feel terrible about being in a long distance relationship.
This can happen when you intensely feel the need of being near to someone and miss them or when you see your friends being able to be there for each other.
In such times, share your feelings with the other person and motivate each other. Remember that this is only a temporary phase which will soon be over.
Plan about things and activities that you would like to do when you again start to live together.
19. Keep everything normal
There will be not one but many challenging times during your long distance relationship. But whenever such situations arise, do not overthink or exaggerate them.
Just because you are in a long distance relationship does not mean that you are facing not normal circumstances.
The more you think about being in something extraordinary, the more control you will lose over such situations.
20. Plan date nights
Aside from sending routine text messages, making scheduled phone and video calls and setting common goals, you can also plan date nights.
Wear a dress that you were gifted by the other person, cook something that you both like or at least you hate just to please the other person and show how much you miss them.
Planning virtual date nights and doing things that you hated about each other while in person is a way to show the depth of your love.
It also shows how much you are willing to give up or adopt behaviors just to be with the other person.
While it seems that continuing a long distance relationship could be easier today than older times because of use of technology and other advancements, this is not true.
This is because nothing can beat or become an equivalent of the feel and experience that you get to have by being close to each other both emotionally and physically.
But still by using the tips and advices in this article, much complexities of a long distance relationship can still be avoided.